How to help someone in substance abuse rehabilitation
By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant
Entering a drug rehabilitation program represents an important step toward sobriety. However, the patient still has a lot of work yet to do.
To make this process easier, friends and family can show their support. Instead of simply viewing “going to rehab” as the solution to the problem, it’s more realistic to see it as a step toward wellness.
Expressing support verbally when they’re permitted to call (or visit, if it’s a longer-term stay) can also make a huge difference. Patients in rehabilitation may feel deep shame, self-loathing and regret because of the stigma surrounding substance use.
Some patients may want some solitude and family members should respect that. But they should also remain open to speaking with them if that preference changes.
“It’s important to remember that substance use disorders — SUDs — are treatable chronic medical conditions and like most other chronic medical conditions, there may be periods of stability and times when extra care is needed,” said physician Ross Sullivan, assistant professor of emergency medicine and medical director of medical toxicology at Upstate Medical University. “SUDs are not moral or ethical failures.”
Family members may also feel responsible for the SUD. Sullivan said that they should keep in mind that they’re not the cause of it and can’t control the other person’s behavior.
“Consider seeking support via live and virtual groups, counseling, advocacy, and education,” Sullivan said.
Self-care should also include proper nutrition, physical activity and stress management.
Christine Haslam, social worker at St. Joseph’s Health Behavioral Health, reminds family members that they’re impacted by addiction as much as the person going through rehabilitation.
“Substance use can be a struggle for the whole family,” Haslam said. “The support system should be people who truly understand and want to offer encouragement. Holding a loved one accountable can be difficult. However, without accountability, your family member will find ways to justify behaviors and actions that are not consistent with their recovery plan.”
She added that learning about the signs and symptoms of drug abuse can help family members identify which substances could be involved and better understand the damage caused by the substance use.
As family members have opportunities to interact with the patient “refrain from being judgmental, insulting or condescending,” Haslam said. “Show that your concern is based on the fact you care for that person. If you raise the topic of substance use for discussion, be sure that your loved one is sober, list the behaviors you’ve observed and don’t expect immediate action. Always come from a place of compassion and caring.”
Enabling isn’t just providing the substance itself. Haslam said that it can also include overlooking the person’s actions or providing a ride or funding to obtain substances.
“Ensure you are taking care of yourself: reach out if you need support,” Haslam said. “Remove drugs and alcohol from the home. Be sure that any time spent with him or her is free of any substance use.”
Remaining patient as the person recovers is difficult but vital to recovery. The person may experience setbacks as part of the recovery. It’s not a one-and-done process. Haslam said that the first year of recovery is the hardest part.
“Remember that falling off the path of recovery does not mean that the entire attempt to address a family addiction was a failure,” she said. “Supports can ensure that the family member has the tools and support to guard against relapse. If the family member has been to treatment, ask them what worked for them. They may have a favorite coping skill or distraction.”